Johnhwilburn.com

On a beach in Bequia last month I began reading “The Toxic War on Masculinity” by Nancy Pearcy. Even if you don’t agree with her main points (I do) this book is excellent because it’s a deep dive explaining why men become either toxic, or passive.

There is far too much in the book to cover with one blog post….

But a main point is our culture attacks manhood.

This quote (also used as a header pic on my website post) describes the situation well.

To clarify the quote, masculinity is seen as wrong (or toxic) so there is little growth in maturity or character for men. The truth is much of what we see in masculinity IS WRONG! Many men lack maturity or responsibility, demand their own way, and have very weak relationships with wives or children. There is no problem with calling these men toxic.

But is this the way men should act?

Pearcy throughout her book describes the differences between two definitions of men. The “Real Man” who is defined by culture, and the “Godly Man” who is defined by Scripture. She does a great job of explaining how the Biblical view of manhood was replaced by the “real man.”

And how this leaves us with a culture of little boys in full-grown male bodies.

As someone who lives in a culture where we are “stuck with boys” it’s easy to condemn the toxic real man. But this is actually a foolish decision since it often just makes them rebel more.

Instead, we must show them the Godly man.

This is particularly true for the next generation of young men and boys. If they are surrounded by real men, they will gravitate towards a toxic way of life. But if they encounter Godly men, the Lord will use that to change their lives.

I am thankful for the challenge of this book because it encourages me to stop calling little boys in a man’s body toxic (though it is)

But to show them a better way.